Ardent
by bellabrochol
Summary: Can an emotionless loner really find true happiness? Is he even looking for it? ...Who knows? I don't really care, anyway. I'll make it happen somehow, even if it kills me. I won't ever let him be alone.
1. Prologue

_Hi everyone. Yes, I'm starting a new story. This one actually has a storyline, so hopefully it will be updated fairly regularly. I've already written chapter one for it (which is pretty long), but still, let me know if you like this prologue and if you think I should continue. I have turned over a new leaf in terms of my fanfiction writing, and I hope you enjoy my story._

_By the way, my old stories aren't abandoned – they're just on a very long hiatus._

_Disclaimer: Bakuten Shoot Beyblade belongs to Aoki Takao and is in no way affiliated with the author of this fanfiction._

* * *

The light fades rapidly, and it is already clear that the moon will remain hidden tonight. He startles as leave crackle softly behind him.

"Kai."

"Takao," he acknowledges wearily.

"I have to show you something," the other boy murmurs, the quietness of his voice not quite masking a quiver of excitement.

"Not now."

"Yes, now," Takao says, a little more forcefully and he reaches down to grasp the other's arm. Normally, Kai would throw the arm off, or knock it aside, but tonight he does not feel like himself. A small sigh escapes his lips and he glances up at Takao's face.

Reluctantly, he clambers to his feet. Takao does not let go of his hand, and somewhere deep within, Kai does not _want_ him to.

They reach the dojo and Takao opens the door, motioning for Kai to enter. Kai, in his tired state, enters without argument and earns himself a raised eyebrow from the Japanese boy. Takao follows him, and there are a full three seconds' silence after the door clicks shut.

And then: "Happy birthday!" and he is _shocked_, pulling away from the other's grasp and positioning himself in front of the boy, falling quickly and easily into a practised street fighter's stance.

Another long, awkward silence, lasting seconds and yet feeling like years, and he slowly lowers his fists. He can feel his face burning, but he forces himself to look each of his team members in the face, daring them to laugh or challenge or say_ anything at all_.

Something begins to well up inside him, something _inexplicable_ that causes him to fear it, to fear himself…

So he flees.

He doesn't run. He takes proud, measured steps towards the back doors. He doesn't run, but he is _running away_.

The cold night air hits his face like a wet rag and he inhales deeply, willing himself to calm the emotions that are surging through him, because they are _frightening_ him.

For that split second, he felt excitement, pride and perhaps even a tiny bit of happiness. But he quashes it down as always, _forcing_ and _pushing_ and _shoving_ until it is once again hidden beneath his mask of indifference.

"I have no right to be happy," he whispers into the darkness.

"Why not?"

He whips around and Takao pads towards him softly, his face concerned.

"Why can't you be happy?"

Kai doesn't reply. He stares up at the sliver of the moon peeking out from behind the clouds. How can he explain it, the emotions that he _hates_ yet _cherishes_, the emotions that make him feel human?

He _hates_ feeling human.

It makes him feel like everyone else: weak, sick, tired and vulnerable. He _loathes_ it.

"I'm sorry," Takao says timidly, "I didn't know you'd get angry.

He slides down next to Kai, so close that Kai can feel the heat radiating out from his skin.

"I'm not angry," Kai sighs, "It just… surprised me, that all."

Tyson laughs a little at that, the small chuckle rolling over his lips and escaping through the air.

"It was _supposed_ to surprise you, man. It was a surprise party, after all."

Kai's reply is a little rumble in the back of his throat, perhaps an acknowledgement, perhaps an indication of forgiveness, or perhaps a signal that he is as close to contentment as he is ever likely to get.

"Takao," he begins, but he is cut off as Takao stands and once again stretches out a hand towards him.

"Come on, Kai," he says, "we can't have you missing your own party, can we?"

Kai grasps Takao's hand and as he is being pulled to his feet, he allows himself a little smile. It will be hidden by the darkness anyway, and no one can prove a thing.

"Let's party!" Takao calls out, shattering the still night air. He punches the sky with one fist. "_Oh yeah_!"

Kai glances down at their entwined fingers and cannot help but wonder.

Maybe, just maybe, this is happiness.


	2. Chapter 1

_Well, even though I didn't end up getting any reviews for my prologue, I've decided to post up the first chapter to this story anyway. I'd already written it, and I hope that this might encourage some of you to review after you read it._

_Disclaimer: Bakuten Shoot Beyblade belongs to Aoki Takao and is in no way affiliated with the author of this fanfiction._

* * *

It's been two months, one week and five days since I've last seen him. He never disappears for this long, not without letting one of us know. But he didn't say anything, he just disappeared and I have no words to express the feelings pressing down on me. Is he all right? Did he leave of his own free will, or did someone come and coldly rip him away from us?

It's been two months, one week and five days since I've last seen my team mate, my Captain, my rock, and my best friend – my Hiwatari Kai.

He was happy here, as far as I could tell. I say my, but in truth he belongs to no one. Even so, I know we need him and he might just need us, too.

"Takao?" Max asks softly, his blue eyes filled with worry. "You're thinking about Kai again, aren't you?"

The one thing I hate about Max is the way he can always tell what you're feeling. Rei is perceptive, but he only _notices_ what you're feeling. Max feels it too – that's why he laughs when you laugh, and cries when you cry.

"Kind of," I mutter guiltily. He looks at me sadly for a moment and I am struck by how mature he looks compared to when we first met. I know how much they miss him too, but I like to think that out of all of us, I was closest to Kai. Great, now I feel guilty – it's not like they aren't feeling the strain too.

"It's okay," he says, "I know you miss him. He was always closer to you, anyway."

Damn you, Max. Why do you always have to _know_?

"I just hope he's all right," he sighs, a touch of his old innocence and naivety showing on his face.

"We should go find him," I murmur, more to myself than to anyone else. I watch Max's face change expression rapidly: blankness, confusion, shock and finally the biggest grin I've seen from him in a long time splits his face.

"Yes, we should!" he says, throwing up his arms in excitement. "He'll be so glad to see us!"

Max, I wish I could share your enthusiasm.

"We don't even know where he is," I crossed my arms unconsciously and immediately uncrossed them – it was his signature pose.

"Of course we know where he is! He's Russian, isn't he? Wouldn't it make sense for him to go home? Geez, Takao," he adds, rolling his eyes at me, "when did you become so jaded?"

But I barely hear him – his earlier words are echoing around my head. Of course, my logical side tells me. Even if he is half Japanese, he is also half Russian and speaks both languages with an amazing degree of fluency. He grew up there, so he would be more familiar with the area and local customs. But at the same time, something tells me that if he is still the same Kai whom I knew two months ago, he would avoid that place at any cost.

Russia holds bad memories for all of us, and for him especially, I think. He's never really spoken to us about his childhood there, but it isn't exactly difficult to conclude that he wasn't eating iceblocks in some sunny park. I'd even bet that he hadn't even tasted an iceblock until he met us, and I practically shoved one in his mouth.

Would he really think of that place as home? I'd like to think not, but that guy is so freaking unpredictable, you'd never know. Sometimes I catch myself missing the times he stayed with us overnight, but he never stayed often enough.

"…called, and he's coming back soon," Max finishes, and I blink at him stupidly as I drag myself away from my musings. My heart soars as his words register, but he cocks his head and his brow furrows in a mild frown.

"Takao? Are you feeling okay?" his frown deepens as I nod quickly. "Anyway, aren't you glad that Rei's coming back?"

My face must have fallen despite my efforts, for his smile dims suddenly and he gives me the look that tells me he knows exactly what I'm thinking. I cross my eyes and pull a face at him but for once, he does not laugh at my antics.

"Takao," he sighs, shaking his head a little, "you really miss him more than you think, don't you?"

No duh, Maxie. But I nod my head, feeling something lodge in my throat.

"It's not that I don't miss Rei," I choke out, "It's just that Rei's a pretty reliable kind of guy. I mean, you know he'll always be there for you, but Kai… with him it's like, he's here once second and gone the next, and you have to continually watch him or else he'll disappear. I don't want him to disappear, Max. But he's not here right now, and I can't keep an eye on him, and we don't know if he's coming back…" I stopped and drew in a deep breath. "What if he's already disappeared, and we can't get him back?"

"Not if," Max assures me gently, completely ignoring my last question, "when. Kai will be back, you just need to trust and believe in him. Just you wait and see."

I want so badly to believe my cheerfully optimistic blond friend. But like I said, Kai is the most unpredictable, mysterious loner ever to walk the planet, and I can't help but be a little bit uncertain.

"If you really want," Max suggests suddenly, his face brightening considerably, "we could ask Mr D if he can arrange something. After all, Kai is one of his top bladers, and Captain of the world champion's team!"

My eyes light up at his words. If we went to Russia and found Kai, he'd have no choice but to return. I'm sure we could convince him to come back to where he's wanted and missed, and if he's being held there against his will… well, that's why we're Team BBA.

And even if he's not there, it would be a good first step, and maybe the trip will do us good. After all, what better way to understand something than to experience it yourself?

By the time I force myself to pay attention, Max is already on the phone to Mr Dickenson but he looks somewhat crestfallen. He hangs up after a few mumbled thanks and turns to face me.

"You can go," he begins, "but you'll have to go alone. Mr D is organising everything for you." He bites his lip but gamely continues, "Rei will be arriving soon and we can't just ditch him to find Kai. Rei's flight can't be changed. But he said if you really want, he'll have someone meet you at the airport and take you to a hotel and stuff."

But how am I supposed to go by myself? I can't even speak Russian! I don't know my way around and the only people I know are creepy evil guys from Biovolt like Boris and Voltaire, the Blitzkrieg Boys and the guy I'm looking for, Kai. Not a very promising list. Though… I guess if I really want to find him, this is my only option. And this is my once change to find him, to learn more about him, and to bring him home.

Home… I wonder how he'd feel about that. I know Grandpa would welcome him with open arms, and I… I think that nothing could make me happier. I know he's cold and distant with a tendency to be rude and snappy, but Hiwatari Kai is indeed my best friend.

"Of course I'll go," I find myself saying. "Just wait and see, Maxie. I'll bring him back."

"I have no doubt you will," he replies, grinning that familiar grin. "I'll wait and meet up with Rei, and we'll come to Russia afterwards to help you. But Takao," he adds, his voice suddenly anxious, "will you be all right? Russia's an awfully big place, and we don't really have any friends over there, except for Kai."

"Don't worry," I answer him, "I'll find him in no time, and I'll drag his sorry behind back to where it belongs – here!"

I gesture grandly around the room and Max laughs. He winks at me.

"Well, guess what, Takao," he says, his smile mischievous. "Your flight leaves in half an hour."

I give an indignant squawk and tumble off my chair. He laughs again but in twenty-five minutes, he's waving me off as I board the plane. I have no idea how Mr Dickenson does it – he must be one powerful, super organised old man.

The first part of the flight passes in a blur until the attendants roll out the food cart. Good – Mr Dickenson actually managed to book me a dinner flight. The scent of meat pies waft through the air but for the first time in my life, the smell sickens me. My hands are becoming clammy as I near my destination and my stomach is churning. All I can think about is Kai.

I can remember his white sculpted face, pale lips parted slightly and his blue shark-fin triangles that only serve to make him appear paler. His slate blue, two-toned hair falls messily into his face – and when he's irritated it brushes it away with a flick of his fingers. When he's upset, he grasps fistfuls of it with his long, slender fingers. And when he's embarrassed, his pale cheeks flush pink and his hand creeps up to the back of his neck.

Since when have I been able to read Hiwatari Kai? I don't know either. But the two things that I love about him above all other features are his eyes and his presence.

His eyes are amazing – flashing bright crimson when he is truly passionate, dimming to an amethyst when he's content (or God forbid, happy!) and finally dulling to a lifeless grey when he is upset. I don't pretend to know how it works – but you know, some people's eyes can change from blue to green to grey. It's like that – Kai's just go from crimson to amethyst to grey. It's odd, but it suits him.

The crimson especially – when Hiwatari Kai is truly, with-all-his-might passionate about something, his entire being is reflected in his eyes. His strength, determination, courage, his will to fight, to win, to survive… and the softer amethyst, that rare display of his gentler emotions shows the kindness, care and compassion that he strives so hard to hide.

They grey scares me, though. The terrible blankness speaks only of darkness, fear, pain and an overwhelming sadness. It makes him look fragile, like a porcelain doll, ready to shatter regardless of how strong he makes himself out to be.

Even someone as strong as he is can't hold everything inside forever and it scares me when he breaks down. Granted, he hasn't shown that side of him very often at all, but we have to show that we'll always need, accept and support him…

The bump as we touch down causes my tray to shudder, sending a shower of pastry flakes into my lap. A flight attendant stalks over and sends me a glare, snapping my tray back into its upright position. Hey, what ever happened to world champion, lady?!

After disembarking, I glance around and am relieved to find a non-descript Russian man holding a sign with my name on it. He's already collected my luggage and I approach him with a grateful smile.

"Kinomiya Takao?" the man asks, shocking me with his perfect Japanese. I mean, this guy is white. I've seen Kai switch languages rapidly many times before, but … come on. That's Kai.

"Yes," I nod quickly, "pleased to meet you."

He grunts noncommittally, reminding me of a certain slate-haired half-Russian. Carrying my bag, he leads me out towards a flashy-looking car.

I should travel at short notice more often.

But back to Kai. His presence is really something – he can capture the attention of an entire stadium just by walking into it. And at the same time, he can walk with the quietest steps of anyone I know – including Rei. You feel pride and admiration when looking at him if he's on your team, fear and a sense of impending doom if he's not.

What a great guy my Captain is.

Something flickers in the corner of my eye and I instinctively turn my head to find out what captured my attention. Standing back in the terminal that I just left, at the front of a long queue is a certain crimson-eyed, slate-haired blader.

Oh my God. Hiwatari Kai is standing right there.

…Well, that was easy.


	3. Chapter 2

_Thank you to my reviewers, you guys really made my day. To answer a question, I'm thinking Kai would be about 17… I'm sorry, that doesn't really answer it at all, does it? I'm sorry if the story is moving kind of slowly - This is turning out to be one of the longest fanfics I've ever written._

_Disclaimer: Bakuten Shoot Beyblade belongs to Aoki Takao and is in no way affiliated with the author of this fanfiction_.

* * *

For a moment I'm shell-shocked – I come all the way to Russia just to find him, and he's right here. In the airport. Like, just across the terminal. What an annoying kind of guy. Not that I didn't want to find him, of course. But still!

I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. I can hear my heartbeat pounding away in my head, but I don't know why I feel this way. I open my eyes a fraction and take a peek in Kai's direction. Yep, still there. He's dressed in his usual style: dark, baggy pants with his trademark scarf thrown over his shoulder – but he actually has a light jacket on so I can't see if he's wearing his old sleeveless shirt. Wow. Hiwatari Kai's feeling the cold.

Okay, that was _mean_. I feel really bad now.

The man clears his throat impatiently, and I realise that I don't even know his name yet. How rude!

"Can you… just wait or something?" I ask him. His eyebrows jerk downwards, and I get the distinct feeling that he doesn't want to be here. But it's his job, and he's being paid for it so he'll just have to suffer. He nods stiffly and I race back into the terminal.

There he is! Well, he definitely can't be flying out because he doesn't have any bags with him, so I'm thinking… a mix up with flights, and he has to come sort it out? As I come closer and see his face, I freeze.

His face is as pale as I remember, but his cheeks are clear of blue triangles and there are dark smudges under his eyes. He looks like he hasn't slept properly in ages – now that I think about it, he probably hasn't slept properly in _two months, one week and five, _no six_, days_. That idiot. He has a huge scowl on his face and his eyes are… greyish? I can't really see well from here, and as I watch they slide shut. I can see his shoulders lift and drop slightly as he sighs. Before I can even register it myself, I'm hugging him tightly from behind, and he has gone dead stiff.

Nice, Takao. That was really well done.

There are tears springing to my eyes and I blink furiously to keep them at bay. Why the hell am I crying, anyway? It's not like this is a big deal, to find Kai… in Russia… all by myself…

Okay, Takao. You have really got to stop lying to yourself.

This is a really big deal.

I just found my best buddy.

His head turns slightly and he looks at me from the corners of his eyes. His body relaxes slightly, but as I look him in the face, his expression changes. It's just a quick flash, but I swear that his is scared of something. Of me?

Nah, that's impossible.

"Takao-" he begins, but is cut off by the lady at the desk calling him. He gives me an unreadable look and untangles himself from me. I catch a hold of his scarf, knowing full well that he hates it when I do that. He hesitates, but instead of snapping at me as he usually does, he pulls it loose from around his neck and steps away, leaving it dangling from my hands.

Well, that was a weird reaction.

He talks quietly to the lady at the desk, who seems to be blushing and watching his every move _extremely_ carefully. But Kai doesn't seem to notice – for a smart guy, he can be pretty dense. She prints out some papers and hands them to him, and he nods at her. I won't pretend to know what's going on – I never book flights. Actually, I never really book anything, but that's beside the point.

He glances back at me and folds the papers neatly in half. I'm standing here awkwardly, holding his scarf while he takes his sweet time _folding papers_. Man, how do I get myself into these kinds of situations?!

He makes his way towards me and I can sense the intimidating aura that still surrounds him. It's gentler now, though that could just be because he's sleep deprived. I turn and start to make my way out of the terminal, knowing that he'll have no problem catching up. Damn, I'm still holding his scarf.

"Takao," he starts again, falling into step beside me. "… What are you doing here?"

There is an uncomfortable silence as I contemplate my answer. How am I supposed to reply to something as blunt as that? Max, you idiot, why did you leave me all alone to make a fool of myself!?

"I came to find you," I tell him quietly, opting for the simple truth. His chin tilts downwards towards his chest and his hair obscures his eyes.

"I see," he says. I fumble for something to say, because it looks like he's going to go into one of his moods.

"We… we all miss you, Kai. And we were so worried, when you disappeared without a word-"

"Where are you staying?" he asks me suddenly, cutting me off. Were my words too soppy for him? Probably. Man, I feel like an idiot.

"I dunno, Mr D arranged everything," I shrug, and run a hand through my hair sheepishly. "There's a creepy Russian guy who speaks Japanese outside with my bag, and he's supposed to take me to a hotel."

One fine eyebrow shoots up, and he glances at me. "A Russian man is speaking Japanese with your bag?"

I freeze, and I can feel my face heat up. That jerk! He's making fun of me! No, that just will not do! "No, no! I mean, he's outside with my bag. And he's Russian, but speaks Japanese. He's not speaking to my bag. At least, I hope not, because that would just be weird…"

God, I feel like an total idiot. But it's worth it, to see the corners of Kai's lips twitch up in what is probably a teasing smirk, but is as close to a smile as he's going to get.

We're hit with a blast of freezing cold air as we exit the terminal. We reach the man whose name I still do not know, and Kai converses with him in Russian. Kai is as deadpan as always, but the man seems relieved by the time Kai's finished. He deposits the bag at my feet, bows slightly to Kai and disappears into his vehicle. I glance questioningly at Kai.

"You're coming with me," he mutters, and he grabs my bag before turning away. He's already taken a few steps before I can even get my body to react, and I rush to catch up to him.

"With you?" I ask, "as in, to your house?"

He stops suddenly and looks me in the face. It's a bit scary when all his attention is focused on you, since usually he just kind of ignores everything.

"Would you rather not?"

"No, no-"

"You don't want to come."

I sigh in exasperation. "Kai! Let me finish, man! I don't rather not. As in, I would very much like to go with you to your house. If you want me to come, that is."

He glances at me again, and makes that little 'hn' sound that we're so used to hearing. "You talk too much, Takao."

He stops in front of a shiny black car, almost a limo but not quite that long. I gasp, and Kai rolls his eyes at me.

"Family car," he explains, his tone neutral. Almost. I can hear a little pang of… _something_ as he said the word 'family'. Regret? Sadness? _Longing_?

The driver, an oldish man in a pressed black suit opens the door for us and I clamber in. Kai slides in beside me and says something to the driver in Russian. He starts up the car and for a few moments we sit there in silence. I glance across at Kai.

His eyes are closed, his thick, dark eyelashes looking impossibly long against his pale skin. His brow is lightly furrowed and his mouth is closed in a firm straight line. He looks so tired, I don't really want to disturb him.

His eyes flicker open, and he stares straight at me.

"What?" he asks, his voice soft and vulnerable-sounding in the surrounding silence.

Geez, Kai. I'm recovering from a near-heart attack here! It's scary how he can always tell when someone's looking at him.

"Why did you come back here?" I ask him.

He sighs and leans his head back against the headrest. His posture seems the same as always: straight back, straight neck, shoulders back… but I can see that tiny slump in his shoulders, all those tiny signs that show how tired he really is.

He doesn't look at me. "I had a lot of things to take care of here."

"But what about us?" I take a deep breath. "What I said before wasn't a lie, Kai. We all care about you, and we were so worried when you just disappeared off the face of the planet like that. Don't you dare do that ever again, got it?"

He seems to shrink back in his seat a little, but then again it could just be my imagination.

"Takao-" he begins, but I cut him off. Poor guy. He's being interrupted by me as well.

"I'm not done, Kai! Chief's been spending _every_ _waking_ _hour_ trying to track you down, Rei's talked to all the beyblading authorities, Max has been in contact with all the other teams… Rei and Max are gonna come over here too, just to look for you!

"Kai, we're a _team_. No, we're more than that – we're _friends_. We're supposed to look out for each other. And we will! We'll definitely look out for you too – if only you'd let us. Kai, we want to care for you, but you keep pushing us away, and you won't tell us anything!"

I pause my ranting for a moment and breathe deeply. Kai shifts slightly in his seat and when he speaks, his voice is so soft that I can barely hear him.

"How could I tell you anything, Takao," he whispers, "when I don't even understand everything myself?"

…amnesia? Well, that sure is unexpected.

We lapse into an uncomfortable silence. The pitter-patter of rain starts up outside as I stare out of the window. A vibration starts up somewhere in the car and Kai answers his mobile phone. He sounds weary, but still firm and in control.

Sometimes I wish I could learn Russian, just to be able to say 'ha! Actually, I understood all of that! Ahahaha!"

He hangs up and sighs again. He fiddles with his phone for a moment, then shakes his head slightly and glances at me, almost apologetically.

"Takao, I wasn't planning to have anyone over tonight, so I sent the cook home. Would you like to eat out tonight?"

My stomach gurgles suddenly, and I feel my face go red. Kai makes an odd noise, kind of like a muffled snicker, and shakes his head again.

"Perhaps I shouldn't even ask."

I cover my stomach with my arms defensively, but it seems the atmosphere isn't as cold as it was before. We arrive at his chosen restaurant – I don't mind where I eat, as long as it's food and it won't kill me – and are led to a table. It seems he's a regular here. We're handed menus and I scan down the list eagerly. Kai sits opposite me and seems to have made his decision in about five seconds flat.

"Hey Kai," I ask, "what are you having?"

He points it out on the menu and translates for me. It's a bit weird to think something like this, but I'm kinda creeped out that he's being so… nice to me. I mean, it's not that he's usually _nasty_, he just isn't usually this… _nice_. Or maybe he is, and I've just never noticed…

"I'll just have whatever you're having," I say finally, throwing up my hands in defeat. He nods and orders for us. I take the chance to survey him again. Maybe I shouldn't have let him take me out for dinner. He looks very tired, and seems very tense.

"Kai," I say quietly, "were you ever planning on coming back to us?"

He visibly flinches at that, and stares down at the tabletop. I know I'm treading on dangerous territory right now, but it's something that needs to be addressed. I need to know if we mean anything to him at all, if he was ever intending on remaining friends with us.

"Or were you just going to hide out here forever?"

"Takao," he says, glaring at me and trying to defend himself, "it's not-"

"You know," I tell him, pointedly cutting him off _again_, "we never would have stopped. We would have kept looking for you forever. We would never be at peace until we found you, and brought you back to us."

He is silent for a moment. Then he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the papers that he folded _ever_ _so_ _neatly_ at the airport. He thrusts them across the table at me. I unfold the papers and scan the top one.

"…you're sending me back?" I gasp, my anger barely contained. He nods coldly.

"You shouldn't be here. The earliest flight back to Japan is in two days. You had better tell Max and Rei not to come."

I slam my palms down onto the table. The buzz of conversation in the restaurant pauses for a moment, then continues as if nothing had happened. I can feel myself shaking from suppressed anger. How dare he! I come all the way to _Russia_, and he fucking sends me _right_ _back_ _to_ _Japan_!

"You bastard!" I growl at him. "You don't even care about how worried we've been, do you?! We were worried sick about _you_!"

I throw the paper to the ground, forgetting that it was actually _several_ papers. I glare at him for a moment, and then scramble to pick them up. The waitress brings our meals out, and smiles at us. _Come_ _on_, can anyone be more _oblivious_ to the obvious tension?! God!

"If you need anything, please don't hesitate to tell one of us," she chirps in a sugary sweet voice, her eyes resting solely on Kai. He nods slightly and she flounces off.

…what an odd girl.

"Before you get too angry," he says softly, "perhaps you should check the other pages."

Too angry?! I'm freaking furious right now! But I flick through the other pages and I feel my face heat up _again_. Whoops.

"Two tickets," I say, trying my hardest to keep my voice neutral. Kai looks me right in the eyes.

"I've spent the last two months finishing up everything here. I've cleaned up the company, reviewed all employees and have organised everything. Basically, I don't have to actually be here to run the company anymore."

My breath catches in my throat, and I whisper, "that means…"

A rare smile graces his features, and he nods again. "Takao, I don't have to stay here anymore. Russia holds nothing more for me."

In my hurry, I almost knock everything off our table. But I capture him in a tight hug, an idiotic grin splitting my face. He takes it with good grace, and leans his chin against my shoulder. His breath stirs my hair.

"Takao, I can come back to Japan."


	4. Chapter 3

_Thanks go to phoenix-falling especially, for reviewing each of my chapters. Any reviews that I receive bring a smile to my face, and I am so grateful for them. As far as I know, this story will be fairly long. How long? I don't know yet. I haven't really gotten into the interesting part yet, but we're getting there! Thanks for all your support~!_

_Disclaimer: Bakuten Shoot Beyblade belongs to Aoki Takao and is in no way affiliated with the author of this fanfiction_.

* * *

I wake slowly. The fuzzy room gradually comes into focus and I freeze, trying to remember where I am and why the bed seems so unfamiliar. Oh yeah. Kai's house – no, scratch that, Kai's _mansion_. I never realised just how wealthy the Hiwataris are.

I sit up and stretch, hearing the bones in my back crack in a most satisfying manner. There's a clock on the bedside table, and it reads –

_Oh_ _my_ _God_. Hiwatari Kai _actually_ _let_ _me_ _sleep_ _past_ _seven_ _o'clock_. Actually, it's closer to ten, but that kind of just makes it more horrifying. Knowing that guy, he was probably up at the crack of dawn practising. Now that I think about it, Kai hasn't mentioned beyblading to me at all. It's a little… disconcerting, considering how passionate he was about it. I mean… it was beyblading that brought us together.

"Are you intending to sleep for the entire day?" The drawled enquiry comes from my Captain, who is currently leaning against the door frame. I yelp and almost fall off the bed.

"Haven't you heard of knocking, Kai? Geez, what if I'd been undressing or something?!"

He raises an eyebrow at that, and I guess it _is_ his house. Still! Privacy is a must! What would he have done if I had been naked?! …or…_something_…

Oh, how embarrassing. I'm sure my face must be bright red right now.

"Have you packed yet?" I ask him, trying to hide my embarrassment. I run a hand through my messy hair and cock my head at him.

"Mostly."

Well, so much for a conversation. He gazes at me in an unnervingly frank manner. It's weird how Kai does that – he doesn't seem to feel embarrassed by looking at people. He'll stare and stare and no matter who it is, the other person will look away first. But he doesn't just _look_ at you – he stares straight into your eyes and it's like he can _see_ everything that's going on inside you, all your emotions and hopes and dreams and who you really are.

I tear my gaze away from him and busy myself with climbing out of bed and rearranging the sheets. I do a pretty horrible job of it, too. Kai snorts softly and I turn to glare at him playfully.

"What, you think my bed-making skills are lacking?" I ask him, narrowing my eyes. He shrugs, a tiny smirk playing about his lips. Argh, I hate that! I grab the closest thing I can reach, and –

The look on his face is priceless. It's frozen somewhere between shock and confusion. The fluffy whiteness slips down to rest somewhere between his feet. There's a faint flush tracing its way across his cheeks, and his mouth opens slightly. He slowly wets his bottom lip with his tongue.

"Kinomiya," he growls, his voice dangerously quiet, "did you just throw a pillow at me?"

I beam at him. "Sure did."

He tries so hard to scowl at me, but the pinkness of his cheeks detracts from his scariness. He doesn't seem to know how to react to this kind of situation, which I find incredibly amusing. Then I remember all that we have assumed and pieced together about his childhood, and I immediately feel guilty. Man, why do I always feel guilty when it comes to Kai?!

Something big, white and fluffy smacks me full in the face, and the force of the blow knocks me off my feet. Oh no, you _didn't_! I clamber to my feet and lift the pillow in my right hand.

Kai's got another odd expression on his face. It's not quite a smile, but it's definitely not a smirk. He looks oddly… triumphant? Hey, I think I'm getting better at reading him!

I throw the pillow back at him with all my might, but he catches it at arms length and tosses it back onto the bed. I poke my tongue out at him, and he gives me an exasperated look. I cross my eyes in return.

See? Who says Hiwatari Kai doesn't use facial expressions?

"Kinomiya," he says, his irritation causing him to regress back to using my family name, "I was of the opinion that you wouldn't want to stay in the house all day."

"_Takao_, Kai," I remind him lightly, "and you're really offering to take me out somewhere?"

"We can go anywhere you'd like, _Takao_. Within reason," he adds quickly, giving me another unreadable look.

I ponder it a while. I mean, it's not like I know anything about Russia. I mean, I know it has a lot of historical stuff, but come on. I'm a teenage boy. I don't exactly want to spend my days walking through museums and what not.

"Takao?" Kai prompts me, his head tilted slightly to the side.

"… dunno," I answer finally. Kai's eyebrows jerk downwards briefly, and he huffs softly. It's funny – no one else can make him react like I can.

"Hurry up and get changed," he sighs, and he leaves the room without another word. That went well. Kai thinks I'm an idiot. Not that he didn't anyway, but still.

I charge into the bathroom at the back of my bedroom and quickly brush my teeth. I called Max while we were at the restaurant last night, and he was ecstatic. Apparently Rei doesn't get in until tomorrow, which is when we arrive back in Japan, too! I can't believe I found Kai so easily.

In all honesty, there's a nagging feeling in the back of my mind. This trip went too smoothly. It was far too easy to find Kai. Which means… Something's got to go wrong soon. Okay, I know I'm usually an optimist and all, but you've also got to be realistic. Things can't be good forever.

I hurriedly throw on my clothes and race out into the carpeted hallway. Everything in his house looks like it's antique, and very, _very_ expensive. It's a little intimidating – and the fact that the house is so easy to get lost in doesn't really help, either. I emerge from the corridor and stare down the huge staircase.

Like I said, it's more of a mansion than a house.

Kai's standing at the bottom the stairs with his arms folded across his chest in a classic Kai-pose. He has that half-inpatient, half-stressed look on his face, and it's a look that I am very used to seeing.

"Hey Kai!" I shout from the top of the stairs. His shoulders twitch slightly, but he lazily turns his head to glance at me.

"What now, Takao?" he asks, so softly that I can barely hear him. He's dressed warmly with his trademark scarf tossed over his shoulder, and again he's without the blue triangles adorning his cheeks. He looks… more _approachable_ without them.

"Can I slide down the rail?"

He makes that little 'hmph' sound. "Do whatever you want," he says, but he turns around to face me and takes a few steps back from the bottom of the stairs. This rail is freaking long. I'm trying not to think of how many bones I'd break if I fell off too early.

"Here I come!" I launch myself onto the balustrade and immediately begin to speed down the slope. It's a terrifying feeling – I haven't been to many places with railings this long before – but at the same time it's oddly exhilarating. Everything's passing by in a blur and all I have to concentrate on is balancing my weight evenly on the banister.

Too late, I find myself heading for the end of the rail at full speed. I let out a whoop before screwing up my eyes tightly. I don't want to watch myself die. But I collide with something warm and relatively soft…

My momentum knocks him off his feet and I land square on his chest. He lets out a soft gasp as my weight forces the air from his lungs. I can feel myself trembling slightly, but it's not from fear. I just cheated death. I feel _great_.

"Takao," he breathes, his voice somewhat strained. "Would you mind getting off me?"

It's the perfect opportunity, something that I could never pass up. I mean, how often do I have my super-cold, _I-am-Hiwatari-Kai-so-I-don't-need-anyone_ Captain at my mercy? So I lean forward and wrap my arms around his neck.

"But you're so _comfortable_!" I whine into his chest. I feel his chest rise beneath my cheek as he takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

"Kinomiya," he says, his voice stronger, "if you don't get off me right now, I promise you that you will be sorry."

"Oh, come on-" I am cut off as Kai efficiently and effortlessly flips me over, reversing our positions. He leans down close to my face and I can smell his breath – minty fresh. I guess he hasn't eaten anything today. Which reminds me, I need _food_.

"Next time," he whispers with a dangerous, mocking edge, "listen to what I tell you."

He rises and stalks towards the front door. As he opens it, a terrible coldness seems to seep into the house. Or maybe it's just my imagination. Though, it _is _Russia, plus it's autumn. He doesn't glance at me again – he just walks right out. That jerk.

But then I think about his words, and suddenly I'm grinning like a maniac and I'm rushing after him. "Hey Kai! What do you mean, 'next time'? You're going to play 'slide down the rail' with me again?"

I catch up to him, and he glances at me briefly, before shaking his head in exasperation.

The day turns out great – he's a little more quiet than I would have liked, but he takes me everywhere that I want to go. And he feeds me. Several times. I kind of wish today would last forever, but then I feel stupid because if today lasted forever, then I would never return to Japan with Kai. And I really, _really_, want to go back to Japan. With Kai. I mean, who doesn't want one of their best friends to constantly be nearby? Even if that friend is grumpy. And unsociable. And horribly sarcastic at times. Among other things.

We're at dinner again, though this time his cook has prepared the meal for us. She really loads up the plates – I guess she can tell that Kai doesn't really eat enough. Dinner tonight is roast chicken with steamed vegetables and gravy. Man, does the chicken smell good. I can practically see the scent wafting up towards my nose. My stomach gurgles and I laugh lightly at myself. Kai's dining table is horribly long, but we're sitting down the same end so it's not too bad.

"Kai," I say through a mouthful of chicken. He regards me pensively while chewing with his mouth tightly shut. "Today was really fun. We should do something like that again some time."

He finishes his mouthful and swallows slowly. "We're going back to Japan tomorrow," he tells me. As if I didn't already _know_. I've been looking forward to that ever since I got to Russia!

"But Takao-" His mobile phone rings, and he fumbles for it in his pocket. He nods at me apologetically and takes the call. I've only spent one day in Russia, so I can't exactly speak the language yet. He seems uninterested at first, but suddenly he's snapping at the person on the other end of the line, and I can see the tension in his face.

He's getting paler and paler – which is _scary_, considering how pale he was to begin with. I'm sure that's not healthy. His eyebrows are gradually drawn downwards until he's scowling at the tabletop. Kai's practically clutching the phone to his ear, as if he can't believe what the other person is saying.

He hangs up. "Damn it!" he growls, and he slams the phone onto the dining table. He slumps forwards a little bit, his head hanging while his hands grip fistfuls of slate-blue hair.

Uh-oh. I know that sign. But what the hell happened to upset him? What did the other person say? The comfortable atmosphere of the room has suddenly become tense, and the air feels like it's crackling with electricity.

"Um, Kai?" I say meekly, not wanting to upset him further. He jerks his head up at the sound of my voice and stares at me for a few seconds. Then he closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths. "If you won't want to tell me, it's fine too," I add hurriedly.

"It's not…" His voice is strained again, but this time it's without my weight squeezing the air from inside his lungs. "I can't…"

How did he get like this? Things must be really bad for him to suddenly become incapable of stringing more than two words together at a time. Okay, when the hell did I become so mean?

"Takao," he gasps, and I look him directly in the eyes. "Voltaire's gone. Pulled some strings, favours, anything – and no one knows where he is. Only that he got out of jail sometime in the past few days."

I sit there, stunned, for a few moments. Voltaire… I almost hate that man. I mean, I don't truly hate anyone, but he is as close as I get. He's hurt Kai so much… Sometimes I feel as if I should hate him, but I can't. I just can't hate people. But him, out of jail…

"What if he goes after you?" I whisper, making no effort to keep the fear and worry out of my voice.

He huffs lightly and turns away. "He won't."

"But how do you know?" I ask him, placing my fork on the table. I suddenly feel sick, and although the food smells delicious, I do not think that I can take another bite.

"There's nothing he could possibly do," he says, waving away my concern dismissively. "Control of the Hiwatari Estate has been passed on to me. Everything is in my name. And he's a criminal – he won't want to attract attention if he's on the run. He's not exactly _popular_."

Kai's arguments make perfect sense but as much as I might like to believe him, there's still a sense of unease and dread gradually pooling in my stomach. I know that he's strong – very strong – and that he'll be able to take anything that his grandfather can dish out, but it doesn't make me any less worried.

"Forget it," he commands, upon seeing the look on my face. "I shouldn't have told you. You always care too much, Takao."

I press my lips tightly shut. How the hell do you _care too much_? Especially about someone like Kai, whom I seriously doubt has the ability to take care of himself to any degree. I don't mean in the 'tragic disaster' kind of way – Kai's amazingly resilient, and his real-life problem-solving skills are second to none. No, I'm talking about the basic, everyday things like eating, sleeping, avoiding confrontations and tending to your wounds. He doesn't seem to grasp the concept of _living_.

"I won't lie to you, Kai," I mutter at him, "I think you're underestimating your grandfather. If he can get out of jail, he can come after you."

"It will be fine," he insists. "Stop worrying."

I can't reply. He's not _listening_ to me! It hurts, because in the past, no matter how much he rolled his eyes and smirked and turned away, he always listened to what I had to say. He always took my opinion into consideration. Not that he didn't for the others, but when I spoke… I felt like he actually listened. Like he cared about my point of view.

We lapse into an uncomfortable silence and for once, I am actually grateful for it. I prefer it to talking, because I don't think I can stand another one of his lies.


	5. Chapter 4

_This story is getting harder and harder to write. I am sincerely hoping that this won't turn into a typical piece of fanfiction – I've almost planned the entire thing, so we'll see how this goes. Thank you to my readers, for giving this story a chance. Thank you especially to my reviewers. I hope this chapter explains some of the things that I didn't make clear in the previous chapter._

_Disclaimer: Bakuten Shoot Beyblade belongs to Aoki Takao and is in no way affiliated with the author of this fanfiction_.

* * *

It's _freaking_ _four_ _o'clock_ in the morning and I feel like a zombie. Kai hasn't spoken a single word to me since our conversation at dinner last night, and the awkwardness is weighing down on us heavily. The air is sub-zero in temperature and I am sure that the condensation in my breath is freezing into tiny droplets of ice as I breathe out right now. He takes long, stubborn strides towards the limo and I trudge after him, scowling at his back.

He always acts so _strong_. Not that he isn't, but… sometimes it would be nice for him to let down his walls. I want to get to know the _real_ Kai. I'm sure I've seen glimpses of him, especially in the past few days, but… he won't let me get close. He won't let anyone get close. And if I can't get close to him, I want to know _why_.

The driver exchanges a few words with Kai, in Russian of course. I have never cursed the fact that I only speak Japanese and some sketchy English more than I have since I arrived here. I stare hard at my Captain, and I finally notice the small slump in his shoulders.

He's tired – deadly tired, for his posture to be off like that – but he's still acting strong. The realisation makes me incredibly sad. I don't know why, but… it's just… he tries so hard, and as soon as he nears a state of happiness, something just _has_ to happen. Something has to wreck his life, and make everything terrible again. Why can't he be happy? After all that he's been through… Losing Dranzer… Getting so badly hurt in that last battle against BEGA… his mysterious childhood… surely he deserves _some_ glimmer of happiness.

But fate always wants to rip it away from him.

I don't realise that I'm crying until I feel the stinging on my cheeks. I reach up and find that my tears have frozen as they trail down my face. I shake my head determinedly and brush them away. If fate won't let him be happy, then I'll just have to make some adjustments to his life, myself.

The drive to the airport is filled with silence, but it's all right because it means that I have time to think. First step – I need to get Kai to trust me. In order to do that, I need to let him know how much he means to me – to us all. I mean… I'm sure the others feel exactly the same. Kai is so much more than our Captain, regardless of how he treats us.

The airport is heated so nicely, it makes me want to go back to sleep. Kai marches up to the desks and presents the printouts from the day I arrived. The lady, blushing all the while, hands him our tickets and accepts our luggage. We board the plane without too much trouble – but we still aren't talking.

The flight attendants begin their safety demonstration and I take the opportunity to glance it him. It's scary how lost you feel when something you've grown used to is gone. He became… softer, more open, after meeting us and I liked him that way. But now, when I glance at him… _Damn_ _you_, _Voltaire_. I can't read Kai at all anymore.

It's like he is so worried that he just slammed his walls back into place instinctively, leaving me lonely and looking in from the outside. It's totally unfair – for the both of us. Doesn't Kai realise that he's hurting himself just as much as he's hurting me?

His dark grey eyes meet mine and I can't help but look away. There's no relaxing of the brow, nor is there a light upturn of the corners of his mouth. He's gone from me – it's just as I feared. He's gone, he's disappeared. Perhaps not physically, but… him distancing himself is more than enough.

It may be hard for me to hate, but I've decided: I truly and utterly _despise_ Hiwatari Voltaire. He just won't leave his grandson alone, he won't let Kai have a shot at happiness – and now, years of emotional growth _gone_. I get the feeling that Kai's locked himself up so tightly that it'll be just as hard as the first time to get him to open up.

"Hey, Kai," I say in a shaky voice. I slowly drag my eyes up to his face and flinch.

I haven't seen that fierce death-glare being used seriously for quite some time. I'm trying not to get upset – I know that he doesn't mean it. It's his natural defence mechanism. It's just… how he… reacts…

I drop my gaze down to my lap, tilting my head forwards so that my thick fringe covers my eyes. Kai has never seemed so far away.

Take a chance, I tell myself. I take a deep breath and, steeling myself, drop my head onto his shoulder. His muscles are tense and knotted, and he tries to shrug me off. I keep my head firmly in place.

"Kai," I say softly into his ear, "please don't do this. Please don't lock yourself away again. We all need you, Kai."

I'm almost choking on my words and he freezes for a moment. Then he shrugs again and successfully dislodges my head from his shoulder.

"I have to make sure you're safe, Kinomiya," he snaps, perhaps as a justification for his actions, or an explanation, or maybe even as an apology. But his tone of voice stings me, and I turn away from him. He stares out the window, clearly intent on not speaking to me again. I plug in my headphones and ignore him for the rest of the flight.

I fall asleep at some point during the flight, and the next thing I know is someone shaking me gently but insistently. I open my eyes a crack, and see Kai staring down at me. The first thing that I notice about him is that the tension that has covered his face since notification of Voltaire's escape has all but gone. He just looks horribly tired, and right now, very impatient.

"Kinomiya," he repeats, "we're in Japan. We need to disembark."

Obediently, I clamber off the plane and follow him into the terminal. I feel kind of numb as I watch him – I still feel like I'm stuck outside some kind of invisible bubble, and I can't reach him. He collects our luggage as I stand by an abandoned trolley, watching him listlessly. _Damn_ _it_, _Kai_, _I_ _don't want_ _you_ _to_ _disappear_.

There's that odd look again – he glances at me as he loads the bags onto the trolley and begins to wheel it towards the door. I still haven't spoken a word to him since our… I hesitate to call it a 'conversation'… on the plane. He signals a taxi and I find myself just following his lead without having any conscious thoughts about what I'm doing or why.

I just don't want him to hate me. Oh _God_, don't let him hate me. I'll do _anything_ – I'll even shut up for the rest of my life, if it means that Kai will still be around.

I climb into the car after him and he mumbles my address before the driver pulls up the plastic dividing screen. It's so… awkward. There's just the hum of the engine and the faint, tinny hint of music that is somehow making its way through the screen. Finally, I can't stand it anymore.

"Kai-"

"Takao-"

Funny, it seems he had the same thought. On second thought… Nah. Hiwatari Kai, wanting to talk? Don't make me _laugh_! _Argh_! _Damn_ _it_, Takao, why the hell are you being so _mean_?!

"…Takao, I…"

You…What? Hate me? Love me? Wanna break up with me? Never wanna see my ugly face again? Can't live without me? What, damn it?! … or is it you're _sorry_?

He straightens up in the seat. He has an odd expression on his face – I still can't place that one. His voice is weird, too. It's not as… _strong_ as usual. He's looking at my face, but he's not really looking into my eyes as he normally does. He's… a tiny bit unfocused, so instead of looking into my eyes he seems to be staring somewhere just below them.

"Takao," he says seriously, "I'm sorry."

_Oh_ _my_ _God_, he just apologised to me. Hah! I knew I could guess it in the end! …wait, what? Hiwatari… Kai… _apologising_…

_Oh. My. God_.

Oh great, I sound like one of those squealing fangirls.

"Kai," I reply, almost as softly, "don't worry. It's all right."

_No it's not_, I tell myself. It's never going to be all right again. Even if this gap is bridged over, I'm going to dread something like this happening again for the rest of my life. It's going to be like, a great big storm cloud hanging over me… I don't think I could take it if it happened again. Even throughout any good memories with Kai, I'll constantly be worrying, _worrying_, _worrying_…

"No, it's not," he tells me. What is he now, a mind reader? Geez, Kai!

He closes his mouth firmly and frowns as he considers his next words carefully. I can almost see his mind ticking away inside his head, comparing this word to that and trying to find a compromise between gruff and apologetic.

"I'm sorry."

Yeah, yeah. You already said that, Kai. Get on with it.

"I know it hurts you, when I'm… _me_, but… Please believe me when I say that it was all for you. I couldn't… not until we were out of his reach. Even here, you're not entirely safe… but at least everyone knows where you are."

His voice has dropped to a low, pleading whisper. I don't think I've heard him say so many words at once before.

"You _idiot_, Kai," I find myself saying, and I can feel a frown creeping onto my face even as I feel a smile bubbling up inside of me. He was worried about _me_. "_I'm_ not safe? I'm not the one he'll be after. It's more important that we get _you_ somewhere in the public's eye, because that will protect you. He won't try to snatch you away with everyone watching."

I feel so smart after saying that, but Kai sighs and shakes his head.

"You forget, Takao, that you are the current World Champion, and you were the one who destroyed all of his schemes. I am nothing but a pawn that disobeys. You are the powerful one."

"But Kai," I protest, "you're strong, much stronger than me! You've taught me so much, and I really appreciate everything you've done for me! You're much, _much_ more than a pawn, Hiwatari Kai. You are the Captain of Team BBA, and _don't_ _you_ _forget_ _it_!"

He lets out a short, bitter laugh that grates on my nerves. I've heard his true laugh perhaps once or twice before, and it's completely different to that horrible sound emerging from his mouth.

"Don't think so highly of me," he mutters, his voice filled with bitterness. His lips twist downwards in an ugly sneer as he internally mocks himself. I can see it on his face; that self-hatred would be hard to mistake. It makes me so _angry_, because he can't see how much he's actually _worth_, he just can't see it at all.

For a smart guy, he's really _stupid_.

"Geez, Kai," I say, just before I start to fidget from the awkward silence, "It's fine. _I'm_ fine. So don't beat yourself up about anything, okay?"

He bows his head. I can't see his face though his thick fringe, but I can clearly hear him as he whispers, "thank you, Takao."

It brings a huge grin to my face, and I tap the plastic dividing screen between the driver and us as I get a sudden idea. The man flicks off the radio and slowly winds down the pane.

"Yes?" he asks me, sounding extremely bored. It would have irritated me, but Kai just _acknowledged_ me, he just acknowledged our friendship _properly_. Nothing's going to ruin my day now.

"Can you stop at the park around the corner, instead?" I ask the driver, pointing vaguely in the general direction of the park in question. The driver risks a bemused glance back at me and shrugs.

"You wanna stop 20 minutes away from your original destination, it's your own business."

"Yes, I know," I say, and I watch the plastic screen being pulled back up before I turn back to Kai. He's still staring down at his lap, totally unmoving.

"Oi, earth to Kai~!" I'm trying to irritate him, to see some spark of himself, so I'm going to drag him off to the park and be as loud and boisterous as possible. Yes, that is Kinomiya Takao's _brilliant_, _Einstein-worthy_ plan. Wait, Einstein was a famous smart guy, right? I always get confused about those European people. He should have been born Japanese.

But anyway… Kai should _never_ be this quiet. No wait, he's always quiet. But right now, he's not quiet in an _I-am-always-in-control-and-always-will-b_e kind of way. It's more like a timid, _I-can't-tell-if-he's-actually-angry-at-me-and-I'm-scared-of-what-I'll-find-if-I-look-up_ kind of way. And it totally doesn't suit him, and I've never seen him act this way before. I only know what it's like because I've sat in that exact same position before, not daring to meet Kai's eyes after doing something incredibly stupid. To his credit, I've always been able to eventually look up and see his exasperated, but somewhat soft gaze and feel like I've actually been forgiven. But it's odd that now that our positions are reversed, he refuses to look up at me.

Is he _scared_ of me?

I open my mouth to chastise him; how could anyone be afraid of me? In awe, maybe, but never frightened. But before I can get a single word out, a terrible screeching sound fills my ears and the world tilts and tumbles. I feel something collide with me, and suddenly Kai's face fills my vision. His face is set in that determined frown that I remember so well, and he has blood running down his face.

There is a grinding sound coming from somewhere over Kai's shoulder, and I feel an odd sensation, like I'm weightless and floating. But it only lasts for a split second, and I'm slamming back into my seat, the air getting knocked out of my lungs. There is a dull thud as something collides with something _extremely_ hard. It's weird – I feel like we're upside down. There's something warm running down my cheek, and the seatbelt feels like it's strangling me. A pounding starts up in my head, and my vision begins to go blurry. Kai crumples against me as darkness creeps in swiftly around me, and I succumb to the inviting blackness.


	6. Interlude I

_Sorry to everyone who has waited for this next chapter. Other than exams, assignments and sickness, I really have no excuse for taking so long and I really do apologise. I actually changed how this story is going to progress – I tried to write this chapter at least six different times, but I ended up with an interlude instead. I hope you enjoy it. Thank you to everyone who is following this story, especially to my reviewers~!_

_Disclaimer: Bakuten Shoot Beyblade belongs to Aoki Takao and is in no way affiliated with the author of this fanfiction_.

* * *

He stares down at the unconscious boy. Words cannot describe the desperate worry that the phone call brought. Takao's tanned face looks somewhat paler than usual, and Kon Rei cannot help pacing around the sterile, white room as he waits for Takao to wake.

The doors open suddenly and Rei turns in alarm. People do not run in hospitals; nor do they open doors without knocking. Mizuhara Max's blond head pokes through the doorway and he looks at Rei sheepishly.

"I couldn't stop him," Max says, glancing warily behind him. "Don't be angry, okay, Rei? Is Takao all right?"

"Yes, is he?" comes a voice from behind Max. Kai, in all his bandaged glory, pushes past Max and limps towards Takao's bed. Rei and Max exchange glances, but Kai does not speak. He reaches Takao's side and stands there, gazing down at his motionless teammate. All the while, his pride refuses to let him support himself against anything at all.

"Oh, Takao," he breathes softly, watching the gentle rise and fall of the blue-haired boy's chest as he breathes in and out. Kai stands transfixed, as if spellbound by the sight.

"Kai," Rei says gently, placing a hand on his captain's shoulder, "it's great to see that you're okay, but you really need to rest,"

Kai tears his gaze away and stares at Rei for a long moment. Then he blinks rapidly, as if trying to focus on the Chinese boy's face.

"…What?" he mutters finally, seemingly disoriented. He lifts a pale hand and brushes the hair away from his face.

"You really should go back to bed," Max says quietly, concern evident in his voice. "You look like you'll pass out at any moment."

Kai shakes his head obstinately, and the other two cannot help but think that it will make everyone's life much easier to yield to their captain before he becomes closed and defensive.

He bows his head, letting his thick fringe fall in front of his eyes. One hand rakes through his hair before clutching fistfuls of it.

"I need to go," he says, quietly yet firmly. "I need to go, right now. Can I trust you to tell Takao all that I have to say?"

"Hang on a second," Rei interjects, "what do you mean, you need to go?"

"I've stayed too long."

"You haven't stayed at _all_!" Max bursts out suddenly, "you've only just come back, and you and Takao are injured because of that accident! You haven't-"

Kai looks up at that with a haunted look in his darkened eyes. "That was no accident," he growls, his hands coming down and clenching the white blanket draped over Takao's body.

Rei's eyes widen. "If it wasn't an accident, what was it?" he asks, unconsciously clenching his fists.

Kai pauses for a long moment before answering. When he does, his voice is full of regret and guilt, and he cannot seem to meet his teammates' eyes.

"It was a warning."

Silence reigns in the room for all of a minute, and then Max breaks it with an innocent question.

"A warning against what?"

Kai lifts his gaze, stares each of them in the face in turn, and looks down again.

"It doesn't matter. I just need to go."

"Like _hell_ you do!" Rei says loudly, mindful of the fact that they are in a hospital. "As if we'd let you wander off _alone_! And besides, if we're in trouble, don't you think we deserve to know who we're up against?"

Max glances from Rei to Kai, and back. He can understand Rei's anger and determination to help their friend, but at the same time he can sense Kai's guilt and vulnerability. He pauses, unsure of what to say to make his friends understand each other.

"If I leave, you won't need to worry about it," Kai says softly, turning his face away from Rei.

"Kai-"

"If you leave, we won't need to worry about _that_, but we'll worry ourselves sick about _you_ instead!" Max shouts, bursting into tears. He cannot solve his inner emotional dilemma – who to support, who to persecute. He can feel Rei's strength radiating from the black haired boy's body, but Kai seems to be increasingly fragile, and Max is terrified of breaking him by pushing too far. "Who is after _us_ isn't that big a deal, anyway! It's who's after _you_ that's more important!"

Kai is silent. His gaze lingers on a bandage stuck to Takao's cheek and he lifts a hand to touch it. His hand hovers inches from Takao's face, but he cannot bring himself to touch his teammate.

"Thank you," he says to Max, looking all the more pained. "But this isn't up for discussion. You don't need to worry about me. Just tell Takao… I'm sorry, and…" he pauses, then shakes his head and continues. "Tell him that I'm sorry, and tell him… 'thank you for all you've done for me'."

"He doesn't _want_ you to leave," Rei says finally, "he's really missed you. Can't you stay?"

Inwardly he knows that if he needs to, he can overpower the injured Kai and force him to stay. But he also knows that their relationship is based on mutual respect and understanding. If he were to humiliate Kai in that way, their relationship would never be the same – it would be the same as severing all bonds to each other. He would never – could never – do that to Kai.

"Please stay," Max pleads, his eyes still brimming with tears. "If you stay, we can work together as a _team_, and get through this together like we always have."

Kai limps towards the door. He props the door open with his foot, and turns to face his teammates. His voice is barely more than a whisper, and Max can really feel just how much it hurts Kai to do this.

"I _can't_," Kai whispers.

The door clicks shut behind him.


	7. Chapter 5

_Alrighty, actual chapter for once. Umm, I want to ask: would readers rather a long, rather drawn-out story, or a short, detailed one? By short I mean maybe… 10-12 chapters, and long… well, I don't know. But yes, please drop by and give me your opinion. Thank you to all my patient readers, especially to my reviewers. It means a lot. _

_Disclaimer: Bakuten Shoot Beyblade belongs to Aoki Takao and is in no way affiliated with the author of this fanfiction._

* * *

Chapter Five

"What the hell do you mean, he's _gone_?!" I shout, ignoring the slight throb in my head. Max winces, and Rei holds up his hands placating. I'm sitting on my hospital bed with my fists bunched up and a huge scowl on my face. I just _cannot_ believe that they let him walk away like that – they didn't even wait for me to wake up, for God's sake! And that stupid, idiotic, moronic, imbecilic jerk, Kai – what the _freaking_ _hell_ was he _freaking_ thinking, racing off again just as we've found him! I'm pretty sure that finding him again will be a million times harder this time. Last time I just found him out of pure luck. But this time… He didn't even leave us any clues!

"Takao, you should-" Max says softly, I cut him off easily.

"This is about that jerk, not about me! Maxie, how could you just let him go like that?! And Rei – wasn't he hurt? Couldn't you have just kept him here? Overpowered him – or _something_?! And we don't even know _where_ he went, or _why_ he went, or _even what his favourite colour is_!"

I stop and blink at them, as Rei and Max stare at me bemusedly. I'm not too sure where that last thing came from, but… it's _true_, damn it! We don't know much about him at all, so how the hell are we supposed to find him!? I close my eyes and take a few deep, steadying breaths. Okay. Focus, Takao. You're gonna find him. Even if it's just to strangle him and tie him to your front gate so that he can't go disappear anymore. Hmm.

"Though, Takao," Rei starts hesitantly, "he did say something weird before he left…"

My eyes shoot open and I stare at him. "Well," I say quickly, "tell, tell!"

"He says he's sorry, and thank you for everything," Max pipes up, cocking his head to the side, "and he looked really sad."

"Oh," I mutter. Well, that doesn't help much at all. He's _sorry_, yet he leaves anyway. He's _thankful_, and yet he doesn't want to stay. Why is that? Why doesn't he want to be around us? He said that he could stay – he damn near _promised_! He told me to my face that he had finished up with everything in Russia, he _told_ _me_ that he was _always_ _going_ _to_ _be_ _here_, in Japan, with _me_!

"Well yeah," Rei continues, "he did say that, too, but that wasn't what I was going to tell you." He takes a deep breath and his face grows even more serious. "Though if I tell you, Takao, you have to promise me something, okay? Promise me that you won't do anything stupid."

"What do you mean?" I ask him suspiciously. I can feel in my gut that what he's about to tell me is bad, very bad.

"I don't mean that we won't try and help him," Rei says quickly, noticing my expression. "We're friends. Of course we'll do anything for him. As a team. But…" He breaks off again, and exchanges glances with Max.

"I know you're really upset about this, Takao," Max tells me, and I believe him. If anyone knows how I'm feeling right now, it'd be Maxie. "But the thing is… It could potentially be dangerous, and, well…"

I huff softly. "I get what you're saying," I mutter, "but you know, I can't promise something like this. It's Kai we're talking about – if he's in trouble, we gotta help him. There's no way that I'll just turn my back because it's too _dangerous_, or something."

"We knew you were going to say something like that," Rei sighs, "and in the end, we have to tell you anyway. Kai says that the accident wasn't actually an accident."

A feeling of dread sinks into me and I take a deep breath. "Well," I say softly, "if it wasn't an accident, what was it, then?"

"Kai says it was a warning," Max whispers meekly.

There are a few seconds of silence, broken only by the background hum that seems to occupy all hospitals. Then I slide off the bed, wincing as my feet contact with the cold floor.

"That _bastard_!" I yell, realisation sinking in.

"Um, Takao, I'm sure Kai -"

"Not _that_ bastard!" I snap, causing Max to flinch again. "I mean that _other_ bastard, that arrogant monster, _Voltaire_!" Inside, the only emotion that I can feel is anger. It's churning around and bubbling up, almost to the point where I want to explode, or punch something, or… _something_! _Voltaire_ must be it. The only reason that Kai would leave, after saying that he would stay… especially since he said that it was a warning… Kai, you stupid, stupid _idiot_! You think you can protect us by just running away? I don't for a moment doubt that Voltaire is a nasty piece of work. But at the same time, I can't help thinking that maybe, Kai should have been a bit smarter and realised that it would be safer here, with all of us around, rather than running off on some heroic dash.

"… What happened with Voltaire?" Rei asks finally, and I realise that they haven't heard. They think that he's still safely locked up in prison, which he most definitely is not. They think that Kai's still safe from him, which he isn't – I _told_ him! I _freaking_ _told_ _him_ that Voltaire would be a problem, and that idiot just would not listen to me, he just brushed it off as if it was nothing, and look at what's happened now!

"He's gone," I tell them sullenly.

"Gone?" Rei questions, and he and Max glance at each other worriedly. I sigh.

"He's gone, as in _poof_, out of prison and on the run he goes. But no one knows. Everyone still thinks he's still behind bars."

"How do you know?"

"Kai told me," I shrug. "He seemed worried about it at first, but then he just completely dismissed it. It was so annoying, because even I could see that he'd be in danger from that freaky old man, and he just wouldn't listen to me."

"Well, Takao," a voice interrupts from the doorway, "at least we know where to start, now."

I glance over and Kenny, the Chief, is standing right there with his oversized glasses and precious laptop. Never have I been so glad to see him before. Okay, I probably have, but whatever. He has his laptop. If this guy can't track down Kai, well then… I don't know who can.

"Chief!" I shout and rush over to him, flinging my arms around him. He laughs quietly and says, mock angrily, "you didn't tell me that you were going to Russia, and you didn't call me to let me know when you were coming back, either! I was very upset with you, Takao."

"Be upset with me all you like," I tell him, slinging an arm around his shoulder and steering him towards the couch in the corner of the room, "as long as you help us find Kai."

"As if I wouldn't," he says, rolling his eyes. "Kai's not the nicest guy in the world, but all the same, he's a good person. I'll find him, even if I have to do it illegally!" He pales a bit at the thought, but presses on bravely. "We know that his grandfather was in Russia, right? Assuming that his grandfather is behind it all. But he was in prison. Since he somehow got out, he'd stay under the radar – out of the public's eye. It'd be pretty easy for him to sneak out of the country, considering his wealth and influence, but still… There are too many beyblading authorities and they're situated in most countries, so I can't see him leaving Russia… Unless he happened to bribe the authorities in another country… Oooh, we're going to get into so much trouble for this! But still, we'll find him!"

See, that's what I love about Kenny. He's terrified of everything and tends to look upon situations pessimistically, but he's smart and totally loyal and will use his skills to his full potential if it means that he will help out a friend. He can overcome any fear for a friend – so even though he's a scaredy-cat, he's also extremely brave in his own way. Not fearless like Kai nor gallant like Rei nor even determined like Max – he just has a quiet, nervous kind of strength that stems from the desire to be the best friend that he can possibly be.

"I'll leave it up to you, then," I smile, giving him a thumbs-up. He beams at me and nods enthusiastically.

"By the way," he adds, "your grandpa has signed you out and is waiting for you at the front desk."

It's weird that even though I've been in a car accident and have been unconscious for… I'm not quite sure how long… I feel okay. A little achy, but that's to be expected, right? I wonder how Kai feels right now. Was he badly hurt? I don't really want to ask the guys; they seem to feel guilty enough as it is. I remember the blood running down his face – don't scalp wounds always bleed a lot? Doesn't that mean that he could have had severe blood loss? And what ever happened to that unfortunate driver, anyway? I guess it's just another thing that Kinomiya Takao will never know.

Kenny leads the way and soon the four of us are strapped into my grandfather's car and on the way back to the dojo. I don't have a clue how to look for Kai – that's what Kenny's for. He'll do the planning because he's the brains of this operation. Max… is the confidence booster. Rei… can get us out of any tight spots. And me? I just have to dash in there, grab Kai and run the hell away as quickly as I can.

Okay, so I haven't really thought out our roles well enough, but at least it's a start.

As soon as we get away from my (seemingly insane) grandpa and are situated cosily in my bedroom, we start planning. Or rather, I sit there and attempt to plan as Rei and Max ponder their thoughts and Kenny clicks away in the corner. After about sixty million hours – okay, so it was only about fifteen minutes – of silence, I bang my head against the floor and groan, "so what are we gonna do?"

"We should probably go to Mr Dickenson," Rei suggests, but immediately all the American movies I've ever watched stir up bad thoughts in my head and I let out a strangled, "no!"

They all stare at me strangely, so I continue. "Well, what if we tell Mr Dickenson and then he tells everyone and then Voltaire finds out that everyone knows that he's out of prison and then as revenge he _kills_ _Kai_?" I take a deep breath to keep myself from passing out. They're still all staring at me as if I've grown another head or something.

"But we don't even have proof that he has Kai," Max points out softly. "Kai said that the crash was a warning. But he didn't say that it was a warning to make him return to Russia – it could just be a warning to stay away from us. Kai used to think that having friends was a bad thing, remember? I think it's safe to assume that his grandfather taught him that. So maybe his grandfather just doesn't want Kai to have friends."

"_Voltaire_," I stress, and when they look at me enquiringly, I shake my head. "Don't call him that. No grandfather would ever treat his grandson the way Voltaire does. I'd prefer to think of them as not being related in the slightest."

"If you tell Mr Dickenson," Kenny calls out from his corner, "then I probably won't be able to use all my methods. He's a lenient kind of man, but every man has his limits."

So it looks like telling Mr D about it is out of the question. I scratch my head. "Well, if Voltaire doesn't want Kai to be with us, where else can he go? I think he'd have to head back to Voltaire. Is he still underage?"

"I'd assume so," Rei replies, "though somehow I don't think that poses much of a problem for him."

So he's underage, trying to take care of a massive company and has a crazy, power-hungry and controlling… caretaker. Wow, Kai. What a great life you lead. No wonder you turned out the way you did.

"… have to tell Mr Dickenson eventually," Max is arguing as I tune back into the conversation, "I mean, if we're going to go country-hopping to look for Kai, then we're going to need funds, right? And Kenny, we're not going to be with Mr Dickenson the entire time anyway, so it should be okay. Don't worry about it."

Everyone pauses for a moment and I put my hand up in the air. When all the attention is focused on me, I ask, "so… what's the actual plan, guys? Are we gonna travel all over the world and hope that we just happen to bump into him? Or are we gonna make some educated guesses and locate him that way? Or, and this would be best: is there any way to work out where he is?"

Kenny makes his way over towards the rest of us, with his laptop tucked securely under his arm. "We'd be able to find out easily if Voltaire was still a prominent beyblading figure and still constantly in the media. However, since he's an escapee, we know that he'll avoid the media wherever possible."

"Doesn't that just make it harder?" Rei and Max groan in unison. I nod my agreement. We _want_ Voltaire to stay in the spotlight so that we can actually locate him. And where could he go? In Russia it would probably be too dangerous. I mean, he's a wanted man and he's not exactly popular, regardless of his wealth and status, so I kind of get the feeling that he won't be all that comfortable hiding out there. But to be sure…

"Can't we get in touch with the other teams?" I ask suddenly. "I mean, can't we call each of the other teams up and ask if they've seen Kai in their country?"

"That would work," Kenny says, nodding slowly. "That way, we have many countries covered… China, Russia, the major parts of Europe…"

"Don't forget the Americans," Max added, "And I doubt that Voltaire's gonna go hide out in Africa or something, so we don't need to contact there, right?"

"We don't actually need to travel though, do we?" Rei asks. "It could get very expensive. Takao's idea about calling them could some in useful, though it'd probably be better to call them from the BBA headquarters, rather than from the dojo. Your grandpa would go ballistic at the phone bills."

"We can go ask tomorrow. Since it's Kai, Mr D will definitely approve." I'm excited now. We have a plan, which means that we're one step closer to getting that idiot back. Hah, it's funny, isn't it, that Kai always calls me an idiot, and now I'm calling him one. But he's really much stupider than me. He's definitely smarter than me, but he's sure not as intelligent as me. Though he'd probably punch me if I ever said that to his face. Or he'd say something along the lines of 'Don't compare me to the likes of you. That's disgusting,' or something, though in not so many words.

"Are you guys staying over?" I ask, trying to stop thinking like Kai. It's disturbing.

Max smiles. "Well, I just gotta call my dad. And Rei was staying over with me while you were away, so if it's not too much trouble then I'll give him a quick call now."

I nod and he hurries from the room. I can hear him engage in an animated conversation with my grandpa and then there's the beeping of the phone and he starts to dial the number.

"I can't," Kenny tells us apologetically, "my parents will want me home like, now. Since it's you, Takao, they can wait another… ten minutes maximum, but any more than that and I'll be dead and unable to help. I'll try to get more planning done tonight, though."

"That's okay," I tell him. Max comes back into the room and we quickly bid Kenny goodnight. I flop back on my bed as Rei drags out the spare futons. They've stayed over so many times before that they know exactly where everything goes, which I guess is a little creepy, but… they're my best friends, so I think it's okay. Even Kai's slept over before, and he knows the way around my house like the back of his hand. Or something. Either way, I miss him, and I want him to be here with us, sleeping over and playing stupid games and talking late into the night.

Rei turns off the light and the two of them lie there, murmuring softly to each other. I pull the blanket up to my ears and curl up on my side. I want to find him, no matter what. I'll put the same determination into this as I do into my beybattles. I'll do everything in my power to bring him back where he belongs. Where is he right now? What is he doing? I sigh softly and close my eyes.

I miss Kai so much it hurts.


End file.
